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Ross Shafer

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Goal Setting is Stupid!
Ross Shafer

(excerpted from his book "Nobody Moved Your Cheese" Trafford Publishing)

Comedian George Miller, says this about goals. "My girlfriend is always harping on me about my goals. Do I have any goals? What are my goals? I told her, Yes, I have goals. I want to have sex with you and then leave!" I don't know how rarely George achieves that goal but he is both funny and hilariously specific.

Setting goals doesn't work. I've been at corporate retreats where companies roll out the annual sales goals only to watch the employees faint from apoplexy. Goals are pure fantasy unless you have a specific plan to achieve them. And of course, nothing unexpected and weird gets in the way. Like a war or a tornado that levels your plant. Simply announcing or wishing sales to be higher doesn't make it so. Worse, it may have the reverse effect if the team thinks the goal is unrealistic.

I bet you've personally devoted months, maybe years of thought to YOUR career "goals," your income projections, your one-year, your five-year, and maybe even your retirement goals. Maybe you have even written them down or stuck them under a photo magnet on your fridge. Sad to say, but without a disciplined roadmap, those goals are worthless. You know why? Because writing down goals doesn't mean a thing until you realize that the goal is only the destination. How much thought have you given to the journey? Your answer should be "lots." You'll need to fill in a lot of holes between where you are now and where you want to go. A lot of work, huh? Well, each step has to be mapped out if you want to be able to check your position and stay on the right path. Mapping also shows you how far you are from your goal and what route to take next.

That's exactly how writers work. They plot the course; step by tedious step. Novelists can't sit down and write 500 pages front to back. They outline. They put ideas on 3x5 cards and pin them all over the wall. Then, they move the cards around until the story makes sense. Usually, they sit down and write one chapter at a time; using cause and effect to make it intelligible. After a while, their collection of individual chapters equals one novel.

The deep voiced singer, Lou Rawls, taught me a lot about "stacking" my nightclub act to accomplish goals with the audience. He takes great pains in devising his song list before each performance. Each song is "stacked" in a specific order to segue smoothly into the next one. That way he can dictate the mood and emotion he wants the crowd to experience. By the end of the evening, each member of the audience feels invested in Lou and his music.

As a comedian, if my goal is to get a standing ovation, I have to carefully build each joke "hunk" to take the listener on a predetermined funny journey. The first five minutes are designed to introduce myself and give the audience a reason to stay invested in me for an hour. Then, I try a few comic premises and let the audience determine the subjects that interest them. In the final two minutes, I stack the jokes so that the laughs come every five seconds. Then, if I end with my very strongest joke or story; I'll get my biggest, longest laugh. If I have done my job correctly I'll build my act to end "on a roll." My success gauge is if the audience responds with 25 seconds of exit applause or if they come to their feet. It may sound like manipulation but the audience gets what they want and I accomplish my goal.

So the next time your boss gives you a goal, ask him/her how you all plan to get there? You can't just voodoo an increase of sales by 15%. There has to be a well thought out strategy. Strategy gives you confidence, direction, a measuring device, and usually unveil a Plan "B." If he or she can't do that, then make it your goal to find another job.

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU:
What goals have you written down? Where are they now? Can you be more specific about the steps in between now and your ultimate goal? If so, fill in the blanks and start doing things to check off your list. Make a Plan "B" and a Plan "C." You may never need them but it's nice to have them on hand in an emergency or if things take a turn you didn't expect. Periodically check your list, see where you are, and try not to get distracted. Oh, and if your plan isn't working, your plan may be flawed. Switch gears and try something else. (See Chapter #27)

Finally, don't let fear keep you from charging ahead. Regret is far more traumatizing than the fear.

ROSS SHAFER is a 6-time Emmy Award winning comedian, writer and Training Film producer. You may recognize him from the late night talk shows or as the host of The Late Show on Fox, Match Game on ABC, or Days End on ABC. Ross is a frequent after dinner entertainer and motivational speaker. He also an executive Public Speaking Coach. But he is most proud of his best selling cookbook, COOK LIKE A STUD (38 recipes men can prepare in the garage with their own tools. His new book, NOBODY MOVED YOUR CHEESE (How to ignore the experts and trust your own gut) will be released in January 2003.