by Mark Victor Hansen
One of life’s fundamental truths states: Ask and you shall receive. Isn’t that simple? Of course it is. The world responds to those who ask. Most people in this world, however, find themselves in settled lives, never really achieving or receiving what they hold in their dreams… because they just never ask.
There are many good reasons to ask, and the rewards are substantial. If you’re not moving closer to what you really want, you probably aren’t doing enough asking.
Reasons Why We Don’t Ask
So, why do people stumble when they have an opportunity to ask? Five reasons, really:
Ignorance. Many of us don’t know what to ask for. Either we don’t know what is available to us because we have never been exposed to it, or we are so out of touch with ourselves that we no longer are able to perceive our real needs and wants. And, in many cases, we don’t know who to ask, when to ask, or even HOW to ask.
Limiting and Inaccurate Beliefs. Since our childhood, we’ve been programmed by our parents, and through schooling, religious training and even the media to STOP asking.
Fear. Having learned all about rejection, embarrassment, vulnerability and hurt in our childhood and early adult years, we find it easier to settle for less than deal with the fear that’s resulted from these past experiences.
Low Self-Esteem. Most of us feel unworthy or too inadequate to create the kind of life we want. As a result, we don’t believe our needs and wants are worth pursuing.
Pride. Many of us are convinced we need to do everything for ourselves, or we’ll look foolish or lose respect among our family and peers.
The truth is, when you take control of your life by asking for what you want and need, you can accomplish anything your heart desires. No doubt, you know of people who seem to walk into any situation and any relationship expecting success. They achieve success again and again because they’ve learned – and acted on – one simple truth: You will reach your goals only with the help of others.
What are common characteristics shared between people who’ve mastered the art of asking?
They know what they want. They are clear about their vision, purpose and goals.
They believe that what they’re asking for is very possible.
They are passionate about what they are requesting.
They act even when they’re afraid or feel fear.
They learn from experience so that they become better “askers” with every ask.
They are persistent. If at first they don’t receive, they ask, ask, ask until they do.
You can turn your life around, regardless of the obstacles you currently face. Get clear. Get passionate. Take a giant step past that fear. And if at first you don’t succeed, take this minor setback as a signal to you . . . to ask again!
Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, has for more than 25 years, uniquely focused on the vital elements of human behavior that most affect our personal and professional lives and has influenced society’s top leaders and the general public on a global scale.
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